Decisions

Most of the life changing decisions that have occured in my life have been made for me. Usually when a change is necessry the powers that be get involved and make it so that there isn't a decision. I am ok with that, too. Just as long as I continue to live right and try to be good and just in all the daily choices I make, my good intentions usually lead to that right choice.

But for once I am at a juncture in my life that I have to consciously choose. I worry that if I choose one way I will regret it in the future. But if I choose the other way I may regret that too. And so for the past month or so I have made no decision. I have put it off using this past weekends trip as an excuse. But now that the trip is over I have to decide how to proceed. And I think for once in my life I am going to proactively make a decision.

It will be life changing for me and for many others. And every second I am second guessing myself. I try to remember all of the people that inspire me to be better, my husband and family, those clients that so generously allow me to be a part of their life changing experiences, who make me truly want to be a better trainer. And for those who can't be part of my journey. I just don't want to dissappoint anyone.

And so over the next few weeks my decisions will play out. I have this little placque on my desk that says, sometimes you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.

So here's to the hope I have wings.

Courage

Today one of my favorite clients told me that 'my courage to follow my dreams' gave her a new purpose in life. And as I head back out on the road again, I realize that courage is definately needed everyday in my life. This journey is a scary one and a very lonely one. Even though I see people every day and it always seems like there are many people around me, it isn't so. I am not sure that anyone I know understands what is happening. I know there are others out there in my same boat, but in my circles they don't get it.

I am only 32. I'm a kid, really. I know that, but I can't admit it every day or I'd get bulldosed. Most people my age are having babies (as I am reminded every day) and going on vacation with their families. Not me. My business is my baby and my very patient husband bides his time on the couch while I follow my dream. It's not glamourous or much fun these days. Just alot of lonely work.

It's during weeks like the past couple when I question if I have enough courage to reach my goals. Alot of people think so. Deep down, I know so. But so did that crazy lion. Let's hope my yellow brick road appears soon.